mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
so much tequila, so little girl.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
