When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
