fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
