i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
