his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Someone came in the potted fern
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
