How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
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Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
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