I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
