He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
