you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
