absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
