Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
