once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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