i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
