Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
