just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
