you would pick up someone in the library
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
