Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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