I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
