I need to stop coming to work sober
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
