I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
