I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
