oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
