i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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