It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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