I think I died a long time ago.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
