You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize