This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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