I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
