after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
