fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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