obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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