the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
