Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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