never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
