There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
