Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
either way he was missing a nipple.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize