Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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