She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize