What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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