My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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