My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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