Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
These tits shall not be calmed
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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