I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
