Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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