Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My life is pants optional.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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