He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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