So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
