our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
