i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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