there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
pray to the hookup gods
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
