At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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