Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
