we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
