Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize