pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
