member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
