so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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