david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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